Poetry of Love and God

Love is God in Nature. 

God is everywhere in everything and everyone. 

God is always with us in us. 

God is part of me. 

God is all of me.


Be still and know that I am God.

Maranatha - Sunday

I penned down my thoughts in the morning ~ Coming for this retreat, I thought would give me peace of mind.  But I am now feeling more confused, full of questions about what I believe in, whether I am doing right or wrong.  I feel more turmoil now, more thoughts of uncertainty, more headache.

I want to go back to the stillness inside, back to who I truly am.  I feel unsettled, feathers ruffled.  BRUSH IT OFF.  Accept what is.  Agree to disagree.  That is what life is all about - finding self.  We lose ourselves and we find ourselves.

I felt better after writing down my thoughts and the sun shines strong in the cool air.

At lunch, I felt touched by God.  I enjoyed the meal and good thoughts game by.  I looked at the trees and everything is as it is.  Everything is in its place.  Even the frogs in the pond.  I feel so much love in nature.

Nature is so forgiving, Nature is so adapting, Nature is so accommodating, Nature is God.

The seeds of the dandelion float in the air, carried by light breeze in the sun.

I was in conflict with my self (thoughts, feelings).

Now I am at peace with my self (light).

The beauty of this place radiates with love and light.  The beauty of this place radiates with God.

In the noise of our minds, in the stillness of our hearts.

Thank you for your wonder.

Thank you for your space.

Thank you for talking to me in your language of love and silence.

I am at peace with myself.  There are no more thoughts, just a sense of fulfillment.  I was angry yesterday.  I wanted to read more earlier on.  I feel I need not do more now.

I felt light when I arrived.  I felt heavy when I was upset.  I feel both light and heavy now.  No more questions.

Rejoice!

Maranatha - Saturday

Was awake from 5 am, brushed my teeth, showered (coooldddd.... brrr...) and went down to read and reflect. When the sun came up, I saw 2 hornbills flying off from their roost on a tall durian tree.  I went for a stroll to see the big house next door which had a couple of noisy barking dogs.  The dogs seem not a natural part of Janda Baik, introduced by humans.  Their incessant barking seem out of place in the still of the place. Time flew by quickly and soon it was breakfast time.  We had simple fried meehoon and toast.  This time onward, we all ate silently with light meditation music in the background and the jungle sounds.

The day went on well until I asked the Spiritual Director a question about the Bible and why so many words were needed to preach the Old Testament (which seemed not relevant, having names of people and places of pre-Christ), and it being translated so often with changing words and meanings.  It led me to ponder and have more questions.

I did not take Fr David's response too kindly and got into an anger mode, not so much with Fr David but rather with the Church.  I have chosen to stay away from Church from young as the Church (through its nuns, priests and rituals) did not provide me answers to questions I had posed then.  We were raised and the Bible states that God is a violent, punishing God.  I have always believed that God is ever loving, ever forgiving; that God is everywhere in everything and everyone; that we are all one.  Yet the Church seem to tell me that I do not understand and not to ask too many questions.

My mind was in torment and turmoil.  I felt so confused, so out of place, so unbelonged.  I retreated into myself.  That was to be a revelation.