Monday, December 7, 2009

Maranatha - Sunday

I penned down my thoughts in the morning ~ Coming for this retreat, I thought would give me peace of mind.  But I am now feeling more confused, full of questions about what I believe in, whether I am doing right or wrong.  I feel more turmoil now, more thoughts of uncertainty, more headache.

I want to go back to the stillness inside, back to who I truly am.  I feel unsettled, feathers ruffled.  BRUSH IT OFF.  Accept what is.  Agree to disagree.  That is what life is all about - finding self.  We lose ourselves and we find ourselves.

I felt better after writing down my thoughts and the sun shines strong in the cool air.

At lunch, I felt touched by God.  I enjoyed the meal and good thoughts game by.  I looked at the trees and everything is as it is.  Everything is in its place.  Even the frogs in the pond.  I feel so much love in nature.

Nature is so forgiving, Nature is so adapting, Nature is so accommodating, Nature is God.
The seeds of the dandelion float in the air, carried by light breeze in the sun.

I was in conflict with my self (thoughts, feelings).
Now I am at peace with my self (light).

The beauty of this place radiates with love and light.  The beauty of this place radiates with God.
In the noise of our minds, in the stillness of our hearts.
Thank you for your wonder.
Thank you for your space.
Thank you for talking to me in your language of love and silence.

I am at peace with myself.  There are no more thoughts, just a sense of fulfillment.  I was angry yesterday.  I wanted to read more earlier on.  I feel I need not do more now.

I felt light when I arrived.  I felt heavy when I was upset.  I feel both light and heavy now.  No more questions.

Rejoice!