Derrick On Leave

Derrick has gone to Karak for 2 days fishing all by himself, to catch tilapia for home consumption and some time away from the boys and me!  So I am left to fend for myself and the boys.

A Day At AgroTech, Ulu Langat

To cool down after 2 weeks of very hot weather, we decided to go for a cool dip at Agro Tech Resort where the natural pool water is cold and refreshing.  Agro Tech is a nice Malay chalet resort at Ulu Langat.  The stream that flows through this resort is dammed up so that there is a pool of water which then flows down the dam as a small water fall and out to its natural path down Ulu Langat.

There are 2 fish ponds for pond fishing with lots of healthy tilapias, catfish and seluang.

The resort has been done up quite nicely with new units.  However, part of the old resort is now fenced up because the land belongs to another owner.  Jordan, Johan and Kok Eu slowly set themselves to go into the cold water at 9 am.  There were screams heard as they went in.  I changed and joined them soon after.  Yes, it was near frigid cold but soon we got used to it and it was fishing for small seluang time.  Somehow, Joey just refused to get into the water and decided to play at the sides of the pool.  Jordan swam lots with Johan.  Kok Eu found the water a bit too cold for his liking.

Derrick, Kok Eu and I started to catch the small but fast fish swimming all around us.  We stayed in the water most of the time until about 3.30 pm when the sky got dark and threatened to rain.

After a quick shower, we all packed up and left at 4 pm.

Several events happened while we were there.  Firstly, Jordan got a Malay man upset as he threw a piece of wood into the pool.  Then we apparently lost the fish container with all the small seluang in the pool.  We searched all over the pool but visibility was not too good.  Then Johan dropped a fin into the water.  I found the flipper using my feel to touch the floor of the pool.  At last, Johan stepped on something close to the waterfall and Derrick reached in to fish out the fish container we thought was lost forever.

We got home safe and put the fish into our aquarium.  All is well that ends well, or so I thought.  This morning, when Derrick was sending the boys to school, he noticed that most of the fish in the tank had died.   Mus had vacuumed the car last night and left the switch for the filter in the aquarium off and all the seluang died.  I had to clean up the tank quickly.  Fortunately, all the other fish from before survived the ordeal.

Planning for a Driving Holiday

We are going on a driving-fishing holiday.  I am now busy working on an itinerary and making reservations for the May-June school holidays for the family.  We are going to drive through Terengganu, stopping at Dungun to stay a night at Auntie Cherry's place, then heading to KT for a day trip before checking into a chalet resort at Pantai Penarik, Setiu for 2 nights.  From Terengganu, we will head for Kota Bharu, more specifically Tumpat to stay at a water chalet at Pantai Seri Tujuh.

We will end the trip taking the East West Highway from Jeli through the Belum Rainforest past Grik onto Kuala Kangsar, staying a night at Tasik Pergau Sanctuary and another somewhere along the Belum area, before heading home.

It is taking a lot of time as the itinerary has changed due to unforeseen circumstances.  It has also caused me a bit of stress, studying the 2 states on the net, the beaches and chalets available, and then calling to make reservations.

However, I am certainly looking forward to this holiday as the last one we had in December to east of Johor was simply wonderful.

Am I having depression or am I not?

Am I having depression or not?  That is the question.  Spiritual healers tell Derrick that I am not having depression, that it is all mind made.  Derrick tells me that I am not having depression.  And when I get emotional and blue, he thinks it is all my thinking.  He wants to go get off taking my medication.

Yet how do I explain my feelings?  Everything I say does not matter to him.  In fact, now even my siblings tell me to be strong and fight my thoughts.

Then again, isn't depression all about negative thoughts, feeling blue, feeling anxious?  I am in the midst of applying for incapacity and TPD for my insurance yet I am told that I am not depressed.

The Reality of Duality

The world today seems to be dealing mainly with opposites.  "It's either you are with us or you are with them" attitude.  Politics is all about pro and anti government, the government and the opposition, democrats and republicans, conservatives and labour.  It is disturbing to see nations divided, at war - Thailand and Sri Lanka have become the Ireland of Asia.  Bangkok has become The Tale of Two Cities - Abhisit and Taksin supporters, yellow and red shirts.  Afghanistan is pro government or the Taliban.  Iraq is Shite and non Shites.

All seem to have forgotten that we are all brothers and sisters.  But then of course, even brothers and sisters fued.  Even from the early days, in the times of Adam and Eve, Cane was jealous of and killed Abel.

However, it is hoped that in a Yin and Yang situation (the Tao), all becomes One - no more opposites but rather day becoming night and night becoming day.

Friendship or Business Transaction?

I wonder why people form relationships with those they come into contact with.  Is it for friendship or for business transactions?  My own friends often tell me that they know many people, people whom they met in business negotiations or meetings and then became friends.  But some of my own experiences tell me otherwise.  I have had several negative experiences with people whom I thought were friends.

There are friends who take advantage of people.  E.g., getting a free ride or free lunch.  If it was a fair deal, they should take turns unless of course they are in a dire strait situation.  For those who cannot afford it, they should be honest about it and tell those who are their friends of their difficulty rather than take things for granted.  I once had a friend who would only call me when she needed to buy some stuff from the place I work just to enjoy my staff benefit of getting discounts.

 

There are those who make use of people, just to obtain information.  They are great manipulators.  I had a friend in top management who did just that not only to me but to many others.  This person is supposed to be a leader by example.

There are those who just call when they want to make a business transaction.  For example, my insurance agent friend.  Once there is no hope of a transaction, the relationship is off.

Of course, there are true friends but they are hard to come by.

I do not mean to sound negative or judgmental, but people often have reasons for being friendly.  There is very little sincerity these days.  It is sad that true friendship is so hard to come by.

End of a Friendship

Today I discovered what does NOT make a friend.  She made me so upset that I just ended the call before she could.  I have known Doris since working in Parkson in the 90's.  She started selling me insurance policies when she left Parkson.  In total I have bought 6 policies from her, 3 for me from 2 insurance companies and 3 for my sons.  And when I needed her help as a friend and an agent, she let me down rudely.

I now remember that she will only call me when she wanted to sell me insurance policies or products from her agency, when she wanted to collect premiums, when she wanted new contacts to sell her products.  Friends do not call just for business.  She was never a true friend.  She just wanted business.

When I called her this morning to ask for help, the first thing she said to me was "I thought you have disappeared...."  She accused me of avoiding her not wanting to listen to why I had not called her since she dropped some documents at my home late last year.  All she said is that she does not want to talk with me.  Something in me snapped and I shouted on the phone "Fine, if that is how you feel.  GOODBYE!" and I ended the call.  Then I started to cry.  She knows I am suffering from depression and yet she let me down as a friend and an agent.

If she didn't want to be a friend, at least she could have been an agent who has to be professional and cordial to customers!  Now although I wish I could remain unaffected, I can't.  I am upset and hurt by her attitude who now I understand as manipulative since she only calls paying clients, now that she cannot sell policies to me, I am no longer of use to her.

This type of friend I do not need.  As of today, I do not know her.

Not Able To Take Pressure

Today was a day I experienced stress which I could not handle as a sufferer of major depression.

Fishing at Sg Buah, Bangi Again

Yesterday, Derrick, Joey and I went fishing again at Sg Buah, my 3rd outing there after several successful days catching and releasing pacu's.  The day was cool as it had rained the day before.  The ground where I sat was soggy.  We got there after breakfast (roti canai and teh tarik) at a local stall.

We set up our gears in 2 places as there were several people there already.  Derrick and Joey went to the middle and started reeling in fish after fish, much to other people's envy.  Joey drew a lot of attention with his style.

I caught only a small featherback, a fairly large pacu, a small one and that was it.  When I decided to go for a walk, the reel started pulling and Derrick reeled in a fairly large pacu.  I was more interested in getting small fish for my aquarium.  Caught several fighting fish, 2 large tadpoles and a marble goby.  They are all swimming nicely in my aquarium now.

We decided to leave when the sky turned grey and the wind buildup.  The pressure rose and the whole area became cool almost instantly.  It started to drizzle as we packed up.  Derrick and I showered quickly.  We left the place about 4pm but turned back when I remembered that we had left 2 featherbacks in a floating net.  Walking in the rain with an umbrella, I retrieved the net with the fish, to be placed in a small container with the rest of the small fish I had caught.  The rain poured down.

We dropped by the tackle shop at Seri Kembangan to pick up some stuff and headed home.

About Fishing, Composting and the Weather

We had a fishing fever the last couple of weeks, with several trips to Sg Buah Bangi and Fish Valley Semenyih.  Caught lots of pacu but lost lots of hooks to the toothy pacu as well.  I would not want one to bite me.  They love worms.

I have been harvesting the worms for fishing and using the soil to repot some plants.  To add to the fruits and vegetable compost, we got more horse dung from the Kiara Equestrian Club.  I am in the midst of breaking down the horse dung before putting in the worms.

The weather has been nice, with the mornings hot and sunny and the late afternoons raining.  I love the weather these days.  It tends to get hot but at least the rain cools down the air in the evening.

Setting Up an Eco Commune

This idea to set up an eco commune has to kick off somehow.  A place in Janda Baik, Pahang is ideal for an eco health resort with organic agri/aquaculture farm.  This health farm resort will have its own vegetable garden, a fruit orchard and fish ponds for harvesting.  It will have a worm farm for composting and organic fertilizer.It will come with several chalets, a kitchen, a cafe and a multipurpose hall.

Any takers?