What's in the head???

What is in my head? I cannot think or focus on anything right now. I cannot sleep soundly at night, then I feel tired in the daytime. Funny thing is I sleep well and deep in the daytime. When I go to bed at night, my mind is always thinking of things, anything. It is just so busy with thoughts. I cannot zoom into anything. I am not interested in anything. I just do my housework each day and then log in to my facebook. What is going on in my head???

Going down again

Feeling nausea, tension in the face, sleeping deeply in the daytime, not able to sleep at night or very disturbed sleep. Looks like I am ready for another roller coaster ride again. Started feeling like this a few days ago. Not able to focus on anything. Obsessed with internet games. Reeling down.

Of Late ...

Of late, I have not been able to do much writing as my mind keeps straying and cannot stay focused. I find building up CETDEM's website very stressful as my mind cannot think the how-to. I tend to sleep much more these days, feeling very tired from the day's work and the weather which has turned hot and humid. Nights are still filled with dreams. Dreams of water, of me driving my car through a road that is flooded, crossing a bridge over a river. Dreams of me taking a long bicycle trip to somewhere far away.

The only progress I can see are the housework, the cooking, the gardening, the fish growing in the pond and tanks. Which I am grateful.

Thoughts on Human Race or Mankind

Population 1900 - 1 billion. Population 2000 - 6.5 billion. Massive proliferation of the humankind. When will it achieve critical mass? Are we there yet? Why are some races "left behind"? Most aborigines or native people seem to get left behind, seemingly neglected. But they are the ones who are one with nature, living in subsistence, self sustaining.

Man is the only living creature with an intelligent brain which can think and create. Man is the only living creature that can destroy. Plants and animals just do what they are supposed to do - live as they are. But man has to constantly "improve" life, better life, enrich life. Man is the only living thing that has emotions, strong emotions enough to create animosity and war. Hate is one of the emotions, given birth by thoughts of superiority, that "I am better than you". This hatred has led to misunderstandings and wars. In the end, someone must get hurt or killed.

Look at the aboriginal tribes around the world. They live simple with nature. Most of today's world has seen these tribes vanquished by colonization of land. Look at the American natives. They once lived in harmony with nature in the land we now call America. White man came and took over the land. Where are the American natives now? In reservations, somewhat left behind. Look at the Orang Aslis. They live comfortably in the jungle. Development took over and they are forced to live with development. They are displaced.

Look at the Australian Aborigines. Only they can survive in the desolate places. They are one with nature. Those who are absorbed into modernity struggle.

Why did some races become extinct? The Incas, the Atlantians. Left on their own, they achieved the highest of evolution and disappeared from the surface of the earth. What does that tell us?

Mind Muddled Up

Although things are not exactly going well for me personally, I am holding up. I accept that that is my challenge. I am aware of my running thoughts and I make no attempt to stop the thinking. Of course, I wonder if it is foolish of me, allowing the thoughts to manipulate my views about things.

A Little Frog Grows in My Backyard

We were so excited to see a little frog in a pot located in our backyard. We had caught some tadpoles a couple of weeks earlier and now await the other tadpoles to grow into frogs. They are isolated from the main fish pond as I am afraid they will be eaten in no time by my collection of predator fish - marbled goby (soon hock or ketutu), parrot fish (very hostile and naughty) and tilapia. This way, the little frog and tadpole can enjoy a nice home without fear of being eaten.