Tell the World that I was Shell-ed

After the shock that I am to be dismissed on medical grounds settled, my husband and I decided that we need to share our story, about my depression, about the lack of understanding or avoidance of talking about depression.

What is the general statement by people when I tell them that I am suffering from depression? "Come on, snap out of it", "Don't think too much", "Don't worry". Some people don't even ask because in their minds, it is just in my head. But it is real, like one who suffers from diabetes or cancer. We are going to tell our story so that people start to understand that depression is real, not mind made.

And the Corporation I work for, having said that it understands about depression and supports employees suffering from it, does not actually support it.

Utter Shock and Devastation

Today I am informed by phone by the Company's Medical Advisor that I am not to get an improved package for dismissal on medical grounds from the Company, a company I once believed was a caring one.

I am utterly shocked that

• the Company, a highly profitable oil major is dismissing
• a loyal employee who has worked in the Company for 15 years
• and suffering from major depression
• on the grounds of frequent episodes of depression
• with a mere compensation of 1.5 months to each year of service

without considering the circumstances of the employee

• I am the sole breadwinner of the family
• My husband is 48 years of age and a fulltime home maker
• I have 3 young sons - all below 12 years of age
• I will be on long term medication and episodes likely to recur
• It is highly unlikely that I will be able to find a job of equal capacity and pay in any large organization because of the Medical Buy Out.
• In any case, my confidence level, speech and thinking capacity have been compromised.

The basic package which is yet to be finalized is estimated at RM340K or USD100K. We will now need to stretch our dollar for the next few years.  Worse, in today's economic situation and the worsening US economy which is impacting all the stock markets globally.


Alas, there is no compassion, no heart for a company which is a internationally reputable one.

In a daze again

The weekend has gone by in a zap. I feel somewhat lost, in a daze again. Nothing I do now is right. I cannot think. Sinking lower again. I accept that this is something I have to go through.