These days, thoughts are just swarming in like continuous waves on the beach. I can see them coming, one after another. Before, they were small ripples, now they are big waves. What are my issues that I have so many thoughts?
Then there are the dreams, really strange dreams. Dreams about people I have known in the past. I thought I left my past behind.
Lastly, there is restlessness. There is hardly any peace or stillness. I feel tense. I wake up tired and body aching.
All these are signs that I have unresolved issues. But what are they?
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Climate Change Again
The climate is so uncertain these days. Now it rains, now it is sunny. Now there are floods, now there is a heatwave. And now there are more flooding in the world than most other times. And with flooding, properties get damaged, lives are lost and people get displaced.
Much like my mental state and emotions. Unpredictable. Sometimes it's normal, sometimes moody, sometimes weepy. In good moments, there is laughter and lots of love. In not so good moments, there are tears, angry words and lots of regrets. I am still at wits' end trying to understand my moods and emotions better. Sometimes I decide to just accept it all. Sometimes I do wonder "What if I was normal? If only I was stronger. Etc, Etc.
Climate change is about the certainty of uncertainties. I guess I am like that too.
Much like my mental state and emotions. Unpredictable. Sometimes it's normal, sometimes moody, sometimes weepy. In good moments, there is laughter and lots of love. In not so good moments, there are tears, angry words and lots of regrets. I am still at wits' end trying to understand my moods and emotions better. Sometimes I decide to just accept it all. Sometimes I do wonder "What if I was normal? If only I was stronger. Etc, Etc.
Climate change is about the certainty of uncertainties. I guess I am like that too.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Relationships of Sorts
Relationship from the word relation and relate.
re·late (r-lt)
v. re·lat·ed, re·lat·ing, re·lates
v.tr.
1. To narrate or tell. See Synonyms at describe.
2. To bring into or link in logical or natural association. See Synonyms at join.
3. To establish or demonstrate a connection between.
v.intr.
1. To have connection, relation, or reference: The symbols relate to an earlier system.
2. To have or establish a reciprocal relationship; interact: She doesn't relate well to her peers.
3. To react in response, especially favorably: I just can't relate to these new fashions.
re·la·tion·ship (r-lshn-shp)
n.
1. The condition or fact of being related; connection or association.
2. Connection by blood or marriage; kinship.
3. A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other: has a close relationship with his siblings.
4. A romantic or sexual involvement.
The words mean so much and we live in a world made up of relating, relations and relationships. Coming together is how I would put it, not alone. Today I want to write about relating, relations and relationships that go sour after some time. Or bitter. I see it in my life, in my family, among my siblings. What causes things to go wrong? Words. Miscommunication. When someone says something another does not like. Then all good things fall apart.
Sometimes it is not what one said but what someone else said what one said. Things get twisted and if one is not fully aware, one gets trapped into the story some other relates, even to a relative or relation. Families break up because of these great misunderstandings. This brother not talking to that sister, that sister not talking with that other sister. This uncle not talking with that aunty, and so on and so forth...
And it happens to those between ages of 30 and 90, maybe more, maybe less. And we worry about racism, politics, religious extremism, war... It all starts with each one of us, how we relate things, how we are related to each other, what we wish to relate, why we relate such.
If only we truly understood each other, I mean, really understood each other, instead of listening to what others say, instead of getting upset with what someone said, or what some other said someone said. It all begins with the opening of the heart and letting love flow. Love overcomes all, love forgives, love understands, love heals.
As we all are called Brothers and Sisters, I can only wish it true.
Love and light.
re·late (r-lt)
v. re·lat·ed, re·lat·ing, re·lates
v.tr.
1. To narrate or tell. See Synonyms at describe.
2. To bring into or link in logical or natural association. See Synonyms at join.
3. To establish or demonstrate a connection between.
v.intr.
1. To have connection, relation, or reference: The symbols relate to an earlier system.
2. To have or establish a reciprocal relationship; interact: She doesn't relate well to her peers.
3. To react in response, especially favorably: I just can't relate to these new fashions.
re·la·tion·ship (r-lshn-shp)
n.
1. The condition or fact of being related; connection or association.
2. Connection by blood or marriage; kinship.
3. A particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other: has a close relationship with his siblings.
4. A romantic or sexual involvement.
The words mean so much and we live in a world made up of relating, relations and relationships. Coming together is how I would put it, not alone. Today I want to write about relating, relations and relationships that go sour after some time. Or bitter. I see it in my life, in my family, among my siblings. What causes things to go wrong? Words. Miscommunication. When someone says something another does not like. Then all good things fall apart.
Sometimes it is not what one said but what someone else said what one said. Things get twisted and if one is not fully aware, one gets trapped into the story some other relates, even to a relative or relation. Families break up because of these great misunderstandings. This brother not talking to that sister, that sister not talking with that other sister. This uncle not talking with that aunty, and so on and so forth...
And it happens to those between ages of 30 and 90, maybe more, maybe less. And we worry about racism, politics, religious extremism, war... It all starts with each one of us, how we relate things, how we are related to each other, what we wish to relate, why we relate such.
If only we truly understood each other, I mean, really understood each other, instead of listening to what others say, instead of getting upset with what someone said, or what some other said someone said. It all begins with the opening of the heart and letting love flow. Love overcomes all, love forgives, love understands, love heals.
As we all are called Brothers and Sisters, I can only wish it true.
Love and light.
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