An Amazing Month Without A Maid

We did it! We made it, a month without a maid. So it is not impossible for one who is not working and kids in school at least for half a day. Morning is best to do all the necessary chores. Start up the washing machine at once to get the ball rolling. After breakfast, start off immediately with sweeping and mopping. Mopping can be done twice a week. Wash toilets once a week but remember to dry the bathrooms after showering to get rid of water marks. Pick up anything on the floor as you move around the house. By the time sweeping and mopping is done, the laundry should be done. Hang up the clothes to dry at once. Do the second wash at once, if any, but watch out for the weather.

My Shrink Does Not Want To See Me Anymore

The very first thing Dr Ho told me after asking how I am on Wednesday was that he did not want to see me anymore as I question the way he treats me, that we are worlds apart. He has referred me to see Dr Jambunathan at UMMC which I have not as I am not comfortable with seeing a new doctor and telling my story all over again.

He says that I am full of anger, that I am angry with everyone. How he deduced that, I do not know.

The revelation took me by surprise as he nows that I am a depressive person and I was just updating him that I am not feeling too good the last couple of weeks, since Johan's birthday. He was not interested to know how I am progressing, stating that he has done all he can to help me. I came out of his office feeling stumped. I broke down.

The rest of the day was dark. Derrick sent me home and I just went to sleep at 11. When I awoke at 2, I decided to go to MMHA to see if someone can help me, advise me on what to do as I was feeling so miserable. Santa was there and she passed me Dr Ang's contact, told me that Dr Ang will be in MMHA today. I cried and cried. Then I drove to a Buddhist temple at PJ Old Town, went up to the main altar and started weeping again, calling for some spiritual intervention. Soon as I calmed down, I came home. I slept again.

After dinner and housework, I showered and sitting on my chair in the bedroom with the boys doing their stuff, I broke down again. I just could not stop crying. I felt so lost. Jordan and Johan were lost as to do anything. Joey came to me and asked me not to cry, that he loves me.

I went to bed feeling numb.

Johan's Birthday Treat at 1Utama

Tomorrow is Johan's 9th birthday. We decided to do his birthday treat today at 1-Utama. His choice for lunch was Pizza Hut and movie was Ice Age 3 (Jordan wanted Transformers but it was birthday boy's choice). The buildup to the day out started slow. I had woke up late, all of the men of the house were downstairs watching TV. Derrick went to market to get papers.

After making the bed and starting up the washing machine, we all had breakfast. Then we prepared to go out, which took some time as we needed to wait for the washing to be done. When laundry was done at 10.30 and Jordan helped me hang the clothes up, we left for 1-Utama.

While Derrick queued for the tickets, the boys and I walked about window shopping. Johan was busy thinking about a present for him. He wanted something nice. Told him he could have something for RM15. He could not decide what he wanted. We got tickets for Ice Age 3 in 3D for all of us except Derrick. The tickets amounted to RM49.

We sauntered over to the old wing to Pizza Hut at 12 pm as the show was only starting at 2 pm. The boys enjoyed the lunch and soon we had to get back to the new wing for the movie. The movie started promptly with 3D glasses. There are many good movies coming to town including Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, GI Joe and a couple of 3D animated movies.

The show was very good. We laughed a lot at the crazy mammoths, sabre tooth tiger and sloth, namely Manny, Elie, Diego and Sid ("mommy" of 3 T-rex babies).

The movie finished almost 4 pm and we decided to come home straight away, after getting Johan's birthday cake from King's Confectionery. Kok Eu came over for the cake. The bigger boys continued with a DVD - Category 7 while Derrick, Joey and me rested.

The boys had a light dinner. Then it was time for some chores. Jordan cleaned up the sitting room while Johan helped me with the ironing and folding of clothes. The boys are fast asleep now. And I just realised that it is Kuan Yin Festival today.

Father is 89 today

Father was born July 10 in the year of the rat 1920. He had his education in Muar, Malacca and Singapore before becoming a teacher. He has had a colourful past as an English speaking teacher who became Ismail School's headmaster. He has memories of WW2 and the Communist days. He has documented a lot of events in his life which are penned down in his diaries. He was conferred the PIS medal from the late Sultan of Johor for his contributions.

To this day, he still toils in the garden, planting bananas and tending to the other fruit trees. At the moment, he is harvesting rambutans and mangosteens.

He has 9 children - 6 daughters and 3 sons, with 14 grandchildren. Eldest grandchild is Shaun and youngest is Jo-uwe.

Happy birthday, Poi.

My Eulogy for Michael Jackson

Although I do not know MJ personally, I feel I know him spiritually. He was a truly gifted human being who changed the world. But in the last 15 years of his life, he began to show his anger and behaved differently. It was his silent call for help but no one was listening. Most people were too busy labelling him such. Not many truly understood him or what he was trying to say. To most people, he was strange because people tend to look at things superficially. Just because he behaved differently, people say he is wacko or mad, and he wore the label like a stigma.

In the years he needed help the most, his friends and fans abandoned him. In the years he needed understanding, some people saw opportunity and took advantage of him, including a father of a young boy who claimed that he was molested by MJ and a Saudi prince. Both were paid millions out of court.

He was never convicted of child molestation but that left him a broken man. I feel that he was the one who was "raped" from young by fame and fortune. He suffered a crippling mental illness and was addicted to anti depressants and pain killers. And like many who suffer from mental anguish and mental illness, he faced stigmatization. He was judged and thought to be so full of himself. So sad, in a world so advanced, we are so prejudiced and judgmental.

But in death, he is restored to the light being that came from the Source, the Ultimate Being and is united with It. It shouldn't be us wishing him Rest In Peace. It should be us to rest in peace. He has gone home.

In Memory of A Truly Gifted Singer

Michael Jackson, whatever you may call him, Wacko, The Gloved One, King of Pop, is a light being who came to Earth to live the life he did, to experience, to be who he is. People will always remember him for the person he was in this lifetime (an entertainer, a performer) but more importantly, he should be remembered as a light being just like any of us. Whatever he did visible to all is what we see. What we do not see is his inner self, his light.

As another light being, he is perhaps like Osho, ostracised by society for being different. Osho spoke well, MJ sang well.

And like most light being, living this life on Earth which is full of challenges is just one part of the whole, which is the very reason why a lot of us suffer mental anguish and illness.

From one who suffers from depression, I give tribute to one who suffered from mental illness and stood strong.

Vegetables and Goldfish in the Backyard

I started planting seeds for vegetables last week and now see the kangkong shoots coming out after the weekend. The chinese celery (parsley) is taking more time. So is the butterhead lettuce.

This afternoon, I spent time converting the downstairs spare room (previously maid's room) into our laundry room, making space in the back patio for my vegetable garden. Rearranged the worm farm to make space for vegetable boxes. Planted seeds for salad and bok choi in rich potting soil.

At the same time, I got 3 goldfish from the petshop nearby to replace the 3 which died from fin rot 2 weeks ago. So now my solitary goldfish has new friends.

My backyard is now so nice to be in.

Affordable Good Books at BookXcess, Amcorp Mall

Post the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale, I found the bookshop on Level 3, Amcorp Mall. Yesterday, I got a hardcover book by BBC's Gardener Bob Flowerdew (Going Organic) for a bargain RM29.90! Sold in UK for SP19.90. Got another hardcover for the same price - Thomas Pakenham's The Remarkable Baobab. Yep, I am also into Gardening books now.

The same books would have cost at least RM80 at the normal bookstores. Now these are worth every cent. Happy Reading!

African Catfish Gone to Heaven

I lost my catfish on Wednesday evening after 3 years. He was a wonderful pet, no fussing, very friendly. He died of a swollen belly which might have been tumour. He now lies buried in my garden. May he rest in peace.