Alone to Fight the System

Alas, the disappointment one feels with what the world is like towards a sufferer of major depression, a form of mental illness. Sacked by Shell the Number 2 most profitable oil company in the world in August last year, let down by SOCSO's medical board for incapacity pension - it would seem I am punished by people who decide for me my mental, emotional and financial well being.

I feel be damned by people who have no consideration for a person who suffers the dark pit of depression. My heart and head hurt thinking about the lowliness of people so lacking in compassion that they are willing to let another human being walk in desperation alone.

The world of men is indeed getting darker and darker. The heart and soul of learned men and doctors are not to be found, only the manipulative mind. My heart bleeds and weeps for the sons of Adam.

Utter Shock and Devastation

Today I am informed by phone by the Company's Medical Advisor that I am not to get an improved package for dismissal on medical grounds from the Company, a company I once believed was a caring one.

I am utterly shocked that

• the Company, a highly profitable oil major is dismissing
• a loyal employee who has worked in the Company for 15 years
• and suffering from major depression
• on the grounds of frequent episodes of depression
• with a mere compensation of 1.5 months to each year of service

without considering the circumstances of the employee

• I am the sole breadwinner of the family
• My husband is 48 years of age and a fulltime home maker
• I have 3 young sons - all below 12 years of age
• I will be on long term medication and episodes likely to recur
• It is highly unlikely that I will be able to find a job of equal capacity and pay in any large organization because of the Medical Buy Out.
• In any case, my confidence level, speech and thinking capacity have been compromised.

The basic package which is yet to be finalized is estimated at RM340K or USD100K. We will now need to stretch our dollar for the next few years.  Worse, in today's economic situation and the worsening US economy which is impacting all the stock markets globally.


Alas, there is no compassion, no heart for a company which is a internationally reputable one.

Yin &Yang, Good & Evil, Dismissal, 7th Month

What is good? What is bad? How do we define what is right and what is not? It is all based on our individual perceptions and it all depends on our life conditioning. What is heaven and what is hell? To some, heaven and hell are right here, depending on each life situation. To a person who is dying from cancer, his life may be hell. But if he accepts that it is part of his soul's journey, then it is heaven.

I have been going through some difficulties at work since 2004. When my husband and I told our Uncle in Singapore about it, he brought us to see a Master (Sifu) called Ah Pek. Now that I am faced with a dismissal on medical grounds and unemployment, I needed to seek Ah Pek's advice on what I should do. He told me not to worry, that my lifeline will be taken care of, but I needed to be careful in the coming 7th Chinese Lunar month (aka Month of the Hungry Ghosts) when Hell's gates are open and ghosts are allowed to come out to roam earth for a month.

So is my dismissal from the Organization I work for good or bad? It is neither good nor bad. It just have to happen, and with some difficulty, I am able to accept it and remain calm although part of me feels sad and upset. I may see it as upfair, but it may be the best possible thing that can happen to me right now. Who's to know?