Sleepless Again

Awoke twice this early morning, had diarrhea. Now feeling sleepless. Have been feeling sensitive the last 9 days since the weaning started. Cry once or twice each day. Highly sensitized. Read that it would take some 3-8 months for full recovery of withdrawal. Talked with Derrick yesterday morning and it turned ugly. I had to start crying.

This is where Derrick and I are so different. He is not expressive and I am the touchy lovey dovey type. I am yin and he is yang. Perhaps that is why we match - yin and yang, the Tao.

The Reality of Duality

The world today seems to be dealing mainly with opposites.  "It's either you are with us or you are with them" attitude.  Politics is all about pro and anti government, the government and the opposition, democrats and republicans, conservatives and labour.  It is disturbing to see nations divided, at war - Thailand and Sri Lanka have become the Ireland of Asia.  Bangkok has become The Tale of Two Cities - Abhisit and Taksin supporters, yellow and red shirts.  Afghanistan is pro government or the Taliban.  Iraq is Shite and non Shites.

All seem to have forgotten that we are all brothers and sisters.  But then of course, even brothers and sisters fued.  Even from the early days, in the times of Adam and Eve, Cane was jealous of and killed Abel.

However, it is hoped that in a Yin and Yang situation (the Tao), all becomes One - no more opposites but rather day becoming night and night becoming day.

Yin &Yang, Good & Evil, Dismissal, 7th Month

What is good? What is bad? How do we define what is right and what is not? It is all based on our individual perceptions and it all depends on our life conditioning. What is heaven and what is hell? To some, heaven and hell are right here, depending on each life situation. To a person who is dying from cancer, his life may be hell. But if he accepts that it is part of his soul's journey, then it is heaven.

I have been going through some difficulties at work since 2004. When my husband and I told our Uncle in Singapore about it, he brought us to see a Master (Sifu) called Ah Pek. Now that I am faced with a dismissal on medical grounds and unemployment, I needed to seek Ah Pek's advice on what I should do. He told me not to worry, that my lifeline will be taken care of, but I needed to be careful in the coming 7th Chinese Lunar month (aka Month of the Hungry Ghosts) when Hell's gates are open and ghosts are allowed to come out to roam earth for a month.

So is my dismissal from the Organization I work for good or bad? It is neither good nor bad. It just have to happen, and with some difficulty, I am able to accept it and remain calm although part of me feels sad and upset. I may see it as upfair, but it may be the best possible thing that can happen to me right now. Who's to know?