Friendship or Business Transaction?

I wonder why people form relationships with those they come into contact with.  Is it for friendship or for business transactions?  My own friends often tell me that they know many people, people whom they met in business negotiations or meetings and then became friends.  But some of my own experiences tell me otherwise.  I have had several negative experiences with people whom I thought were friends.

There are friends who take advantage of people.  E.g., getting a free ride or free lunch.  If it was a fair deal, they should take turns unless of course they are in a dire strait situation.  For those who cannot afford it, they should be honest about it and tell those who are their friends of their difficulty rather than take things for granted.  I once had a friend who would only call me when she needed to buy some stuff from the place I work just to enjoy my staff benefit of getting discounts.

 

There are those who make use of people, just to obtain information.  They are great manipulators.  I had a friend in top management who did just that not only to me but to many others.  This person is supposed to be a leader by example.

There are those who just call when they want to make a business transaction.  For example, my insurance agent friend.  Once there is no hope of a transaction, the relationship is off.

Of course, there are true friends but they are hard to come by.

I do not mean to sound negative or judgmental, but people often have reasons for being friendly.  There is very little sincerity these days.  It is sad that true friendship is so hard to come by.

End of a Friendship

Today I discovered what does NOT make a friend.  She made me so upset that I just ended the call before she could.  I have known Doris since working in Parkson in the 90's.  She started selling me insurance policies when she left Parkson.  In total I have bought 6 policies from her, 3 for me from 2 insurance companies and 3 for my sons.  And when I needed her help as a friend and an agent, she let me down rudely.

I now remember that she will only call me when she wanted to sell me insurance policies or products from her agency, when she wanted to collect premiums, when she wanted new contacts to sell her products.  Friends do not call just for business.  She was never a true friend.  She just wanted business.

When I called her this morning to ask for help, the first thing she said to me was "I thought you have disappeared...."  She accused me of avoiding her not wanting to listen to why I had not called her since she dropped some documents at my home late last year.  All she said is that she does not want to talk with me.  Something in me snapped and I shouted on the phone "Fine, if that is how you feel.  GOODBYE!" and I ended the call.  Then I started to cry.  She knows I am suffering from depression and yet she let me down as a friend and an agent.

If she didn't want to be a friend, at least she could have been an agent who has to be professional and cordial to customers!  Now although I wish I could remain unaffected, I can't.  I am upset and hurt by her attitude who now I understand as manipulative since she only calls paying clients, now that she cannot sell policies to me, I am no longer of use to her.

This type of friend I do not need.  As of today, I do not know her.