Showing posts with label coming out of depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coming out of depression. Show all posts

Monday, August 2, 2010

Depression and Perimenopause

In April 2005, the doctors diagnosed that I am suffering from Major Depression due to a chemical imbalance in the brain.  They ruled out perimenopause and hormonal imbalance.  Now with the onslaught of joint aches, I am wondering if it is both that causes me to go into depression, have anxiety spells, emotional, often getting upset over small things.  I need to know what is really going on in my head and my body so I decided to surf the web about joint aches and came across this very informative website Women to Women.  http://www.womentowomen.com/menopause/perimenopause.aspx

Since the time of Eve, women are "cursed" with several biological realities (period and period cramps, child bearing and birthing, hormonal imbalances, etc.).  Never mind if we are deemed the weaker sex, set aside by most religions and male dominated communities, our bodies and minds are tuned differently.  Of course, we can multi-task but too much multi-tasking leads to stress (and eventually depression for some).  Now we have to deal with joint aches.  Imagine waking each morning to painful soles.  Every step taken is like walking on nails.  Of course, the pain wears off as the day progresses, with some yoga leg stretches and foot massages, but it returns each time when we go to bed, to awake to the aches and pains again.

The next thing I have got to do is work on a better diet.  Reduce on carbohydrates and meat proteins, increase consumption of fruits and vegetables.

Taking it a day at a time, living in the now

As far as possible, I take it a day at a time, living in the now.  Of course it is easier said than done as I note that, at times, there is a lot of anger and anxiety in me.  Anger arises when I identify with thoughts about how unfair life is, thoughts about why people do not listen to me.  I guess it is true what Dr Khatijah said, that I get depressed when things do not go my way.  The only difference is I feel like that mostly during the pre-menstrual period.  So is it more than a coping mechanism?  Is it due to being in the 40s and pre-menopause?  The doctors deny it but it seems reasonable to figure so.

Anyway, back to taking it a day at a time, living in the now, the catch is not getting caught up with the challenges in life.  So what if Jordan does not listen?  So what if the boys talk back?  So what if Derrick gets upset with me?  What is important is that I know what I am doing, that I have done my level best to be a wife and a mother.  What is important is that I enjoy what I am doing when I am able to enjoy it, despite having depression.  And if I get weepy or anxious, it is just a phase, a winter season that I am going through, because sooner or later, healing comes, the sun shines, the wind blows, the birds sing.