He says that I am full of anger, that I am angry with everyone. How he deduced that, I do not know.
The revelation took me by surprise as he nows that I am a depressive person and I was just updating him that I am not feeling too good the last couple of weeks, since Johan's birthday. He was not interested to know how I am progressing, stating that he has done all he can to help me. I came out of his office feeling stumped. I broke down.
The rest of the day was dark. Derrick sent me home and I just went to sleep at 11. When I awoke at 2, I decided to go to MMHA to see if someone can help me, advise me on what to do as I was feeling so miserable. Santa was there and she passed me Dr Ang's contact, told me that Dr Ang will be in MMHA today. I cried and cried. Then I drove to a Buddhist temple at PJ Old Town, went up to the main altar and started weeping again, calling for some spiritual intervention. Soon as I calmed down, I came home. I slept again.
After dinner and housework, I showered and sitting on my chair in the bedroom with the boys doing their stuff, I broke down again. I just could not stop crying. I felt so lost. Jordan and Johan were lost as to do anything. Joey came to me and asked me not to cry, that he loves me.
I went to bed feeling numb.
