Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Downhill Again

Had an exchange with Derrick on Sunday night when I accidentally dropped an ice pack from the freezer. He flipped and shouted at me for being careless, that he has been using it for months and nothing happened to it. As I was kind of feeling down, I shouted back and said that it was just an ice pack and ran upstairs sobbing in anger.

It has been since then that he has stayed away from me and me away from him. It is very stressful for me and now my chest is painful and breathing is shallow as I cannot sleep well at night. I feel so inadequate that I am not able to rationalize with him. He has asked me to go to Mary's house for a couple of days since I am so stressed but I do not want to be with people.

He told me to leave him alone for a few days, to accept his behaviour and let go. I told him to just do that, to let it go. But he is too damn egoistic to let it go.